What I’m Thankful For, Part 3

I’m thankful for my two sons, without whom I’d still be wondering why my wife got so fat those two six-month periods in the nineties. I’m thankful for the First Amendment, which allows me to say what I want; and, for the Second Amendment which allows me to shoot people who say things I don’t […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered Superintelligent Dog Pt7

Dear Genetically-modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, What are your thoughts about the recent speculation that they may have found evidence of life on Mars? Cleland in New Zealand Dear Kiwi, That really depends on your definition of “life”. Some might say that people from Philadelphia are alive; but others, having met them, strongly disagree. Suffice to […]

Questions for the Dog

If anyone has any questions for the Bio-engineered Genetically-modified Superintelligent Dog, this would be the place for it. Just put your question in the comments section and the Dog’s assistants will comb through them and find those worthy of answering.

Some Thoughts on Eating Dog

If you are going to eventually eat your dog, don’t raise it as a beloved pet because it isn’t polite to play with your food… In dog-eating countries like Vietnam or the Philippines, eating dog might just get you a case of rabies; so, if you don’t want rabies, avoid eating dog in those countries. […]

Why I Threw a Plate of Chicken Cordon Bleu at You

I was aiming at the guy behind you who turned out to be your reflection in the refrigerator. Because I said CHICKEN KIEV and you didn’t listen… YOU NEVER LISTEN… and now you’ve ruined your ENTIRE BIRTHDAY! I blame society and also my violent temper. When I threw the food at you, wasn’t I really […]