What I’m Thankful For, Part 3

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I’m thankful for my two sons, without whom I’d still be wondering why my wife got so fat those two six-month periods in the nineties.

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I’m thankful for the First Amendment, which allows me to say what I want; and, for the Second Amendment which allows me to shoot people who say things I don’t like.

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I’m thankful for Taylor Swift, the ARTIST OF THE DECADE…or, as I know her, “that pop singer that isn’t Miley Cyrus or Brittney Spears”

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I’m thankful for the firefighters who put out my city’s fires, even the ones I didn’t set.

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I’m thankful for syndication because why watch some new stupid boring situation comedy when you can watch a stupid boring situation comedy you’ve already seen?

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I’m thankful for our democracy which ensures that the person with either the most votes or the second most votes becomes president.

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I’m thankful that I’ve never had to use the word “recondite” in a sentence… until now, of course…

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I’m thankful for the American flag, without which I might become confused at a post office and imagine I’m in Macedonia.

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I’m thankful for our public school teachers because, without them, our nation’s liquor stores would go broke.

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I’m thankful for the coy glance of a pretty young girl cast in my direction because its helps me know that there is some good-looking guy sitting behind me…

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12 thoughts on “What I’m Thankful For, Part 3

  1. I point laughed at my oldest son when he started singing all the words to Taylor’s new song – I got, “Mom, EVERYONE knows the lyrics to Taylor’s songs.” I didn’t and stayed in point/laugh position.

    Liked by 1 person

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