Some Thoughts on Eating Dog

If you are going to eventually eat your dog, don’t raise it as a beloved pet because it isn’t polite to play with your food…

In dog-eating countries like Vietnam or the Philippines, eating dog might just get you a case of rabies; so, if you don’t want rabies, avoid eating dog in those countries.  If you DO want rabies, you don’t have to go overseas… just play with that fox you saw coughing in your backyard…

Eating dog has been illegal in Japan since the seventh century; on the other hand, you can eat all the poisonous blowfish that you can afford.  With the exception of crazy people, the Japanese are the craziest people on the face of the Earth…

We all have animals we don’t want to eat, which is why most of us avoid eating carnivores.  Let’s say we don’t ever want to eat a hamster; how do we know the dog we are eating never ate a hamster?  Best to stick with chickens, who eat worms and grubs…

If they ever make eating dogs legal in the United States, my guess would be that letter-carriers will be the biggest customer base.

The Hawaiian Poi dog was specifically bred by the settlers of Hawaii to be both a good luck charm and to be food.  The only lucky charms we have today that can be eaten are Lucky Charms, the frosted cereal with sweet surprises; although, if you are still surprised by the marshmallows in Lucky Charms you should probably get some therapy for that.

The sale of dog meat is illegal in Singapore… as is almost everything else…

Indonesians don’t tend to eat dog because they are majority Muslim and consider dogs haram or “unclean”.  Dogs, reportedly were both hurt and relieved by this.

Most members of the Lewis and Clark expedition ate dog during their trip to the Pacific shore.  William Clark demurred when he saw Meriwether Lewis sniffing butts and humping a pile of buffalo skins…

If you eat a genetically-modified, bio-engineered superintelligent dog, the amount of quality advice you will lose will be priceless…