Why I Threw a Plate of Chicken Cordon Bleu at You

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I was aiming at the guy behind you who turned out to be your reflection in the refrigerator.

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Because I said CHICKEN KIEV and you didn’t listen… YOU NEVER LISTEN… and now you’ve ruined your ENTIRE BIRTHDAY!

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I blame society and also my violent temper.

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When I threw the food at you, wasn’t I really just throwing it at myself?

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I think it all goes back to that time I was talking with my mother and she told me I should throw a plate of Chicken Cordon Bleu at you.

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I wasn’t throwing the plate of food at you; I was throwing it WITH you…

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A true sportsman would’ve caught it and side-armed it back to me.

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If you insist on being made of matter and having spatial permanence, you get what you deserve.

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It’s performance art and by complaining about it you either ruined it or made it totally great!

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I thought you were Ving Rhames…

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14 thoughts on “Why I Threw a Plate of Chicken Cordon Bleu at You

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