The Slow Boat of St. Francis Xavier

When Francis Xavier was born in the Kingdom of Navarre in 1506, the head nurse walked up and said, “Leave this one alone” because, she could tell right away that he was Basque to the bone. He was the youngest in a family that was never able to understand that the Spanish weren’t going to […]

Why You Should Stab Your Luggage

[Why yes, this idea came to me when I was half asleep. How did you know?] You should stab your luggage because… It’s the only way it will learn. The holes will allow baggage-handlers to see if there is anything that they want in your suitcase so they won’t have to break the […]

The Random Thoughts of Navarone

It’s a lucky thing the Wicked Witch of the West melted on contact with water… it could’ve been much worse for her. Of the four sent to kill her, one had an axe and another was a lion… I can only respect someone who has the courage to tell me exactly what I want to […]

Recycling Tips

Flatten cardboard boxes before recycling. Before flattening remove all homeless people living inside. A compost heap is a great way to stink up your backyard and still feel smug about it. If you break up with him in the right way, an ex-boyfriend can be recycled into a furniture mover or cash machine. Putting your […]

August 12th, this Day in History

Night of Murdered Poets. In Soviet Russia thirteen Jewish poets were put on trial for espionage. Just Stalin’s way of thanking a population that gave its all to beat back Nazi Germany. The thirteen pleaded their cases in front of a jury of their peers, although, in this case, their peers were a three military […]