My Only Regrets

[No one wants the die with regrets; but, that’s probably because no one wants to die in the first place. If I had any regrets, they would be the following:] I regret that I was not there for my two, or is it three (?), children * I regret that I’ve never bent anyone to […]

Physical Laws Reexplained

A body at rest tends to stay at rest… A body in a ravine tends to get poked by kids with a stick. A body in motion tends to stay in motion until its bladder is full it has to pull over. The universe tends towards disorder. In other words: auT odrs wot hed wiso […]

How to be Nonchalant

[The coolest people are those who just don’t care… well, cool people and sociopaths. If you are wondering what it takes to stay detached in all situations, I believe I can help] One way to seem not to care is to indiscriminately inject Botox into the face anywhere you can stick a needle. Also a […]

Saint Patrick

This is a non-blog page (but still on my site), but I’d like my WordPress friends to see it: Saint Patrick

Looking Out for Number One

[Someday, someone will ask for your urine. Assuming that person is a medical professional, I think I can talk you through it. Don’t make these mistakes when providing a urine specimen:] Do not try to fill up all the bottles. Do not add sugar or non-dairy creamer to the sample. If this is for a […]