Employment in the Time of the Donald

I’ve seen a lot of complaints over this tax bill just because it makes the rich richer and the poor poorer and without health insurance. But, the rich are stepping forward to grab the bull by the horns or to at least get their servants to grab the bull by the horns while they stand […]

Evil Charities that Piggyback on Other Charities

Habitat Against Humanity: Average people get together to build crack-houses, black-ops prison camps and crooked retirement homes for those who are obviously less fortunate. Salvation Coast Guard: Pretty much the same as the Salvation Army except can only operate a dozen or so miles offshore. Please… give until we board and search your boat… March […]

All I Want for Christmas

An astronaut helmet that will fit a horse. A box of chocolate-covered sugar-free caramels. A stick that has two notches for each time I’ve carved a notch into it. A retirement plan that I can buy into with gravel and weeds. A six-speed sports car; three of those speeds must be neutral. A partridge in […]

Pirate Hierarchy

Captain: The captain of a pirate ship was responsible for organizing the ship as a whole. His word was final, unless he said that his word was not final… if so, you’d better have listened because his word was final (pirates were more than capable of creating paradoxes). He also dealt out wisdom in the […]

Tips for Performing an Exorcism

1. Nothing is more embarrassing than chanting, “The power of Christ compels you” and then finding out that, in this case, it doesn’t. 2. When the demon raises the bed three feet above the floor, check under the bed. Sometimes the reason for a demonic possession is simply a lost bedroom slipper. 3. When the […]