I Have Writer’s Block!!!

mental-illness-trepanation
It feels a lot like this…

I’ve got writer’s block and it isn’t fair. Do surgeons get surgeon’s block? I know I don’t look out my window and see dozens of un-emptied garbage cans because the garbage man suddenly contracted garbage-block. Why is writing special? Why do we lay in bed knowing we have the perfect plot-twist or turn of phrase but when we get to our word processors, all we manage to get out of ourselves is a semicolon and the word “furnace” for some reason…

I thought about writing about male porn stars and how they all seem to look alike and have the same hair cuts. I don’t much like writing about sex because I fear that, while reading me, people will come to the realization that I’m not all that experienced. I have two children so I’ve had sex at least twice; but, I still like to keep a 3×5 card by the bed just in case I forget: So, it’s ‘in’… then ‘out’? Sorry about that…

Or, maybe something about how the porn industry was going to go mainstream in the seventies but, oddly enough, couldn’t find good actors and actresses screwed up enough to let some guy in a beret film their genitals during sex. Well, there are a FEW actors that screwed up but you cannot base an entire industry on nothing but Charlie Sheen and Wynonna Ryder…

I thought about writing an essay on the sparrow, because God is interested in even the lowliest sparrow; and, if I could get God to read my essay, that would be pretty prestigious. I’m positive that someone like God would even have a FaceBook page. If God linked to my essay, who’d say no to that? My guess is, I would have more likes than that video of the boxer-dog that tries to talk…

Maybe I should just give up on writing and create a fantasy novel instead. A child whose parentage is unknown, discovers a power that allows him or her to rise through the ranks of whoever is ranking people in that paradigm. If I can persuade three of my friends to buy it, I could probably get a contract for twelve books in a series. And, considering that you can reuse the old fantasy plots every four books, it can’t be that difficult…

…unless I get writer’s block… which I have… right now… as we speak…

; furnace…

3 thoughts on “I Have Writer’s Block!!!

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