Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
I am SO angry, I can hardly see saw. I realized, recently, that life is a perpetual struggle. It occurred to me while I was trying to put a plate with English muffins and jam on an already overloaded footstool. As I spent three minutes alternating between setting things down and catching others as they […]
Read More Two Boobs: That’s What They Take us for (pt 1)Fewer books in our libraries means more room for homeless drug addicts. ◦ Homosexuality is completely antithetical to our existence so it makes sense that, if our children see a homosexual alluded to in a book, they will instantly turn gay. ◦ Who knows better what we should read and not read than a bunch […]
Read More Why I’m all for Banning BooksBecause sometimes you just feel the need to vomit for twenty minutes and then sleep on the bathroom floor. ♣ You can’t make marijuana in a prison toilet. ♣ If your child accidentally ingests pot, he could become very anxious; whereas, if your child drinks your liquor, the worst that can happen is he’ll crash […]
Read More Why Marijuana will Never Replace AlcoholWashington is the only state named after a president because Tennessee Williams just couldn’t get himself elected… ☻ There is an active volcano in Washington known as “Mount Saint Helens”. Volcanoes are a lot like regular mountains except regular mountains are formed by tectonic plates colliding and they don’t randomly explode. ☻ Starbucks was founded […]
Read More Facts About Washington StateEvery character in it would be more interesting than I am. ♥ I’m afraid I’d let it slip out that I’m indirectly responsible for the Challenger Shuttle disaster. ♥ Every title I come up with has already been used… except Crime and Punishment, but who’d read a book with a title like THAT? ♥ I […]
Read More Why I’ll Never Write My Memoirs
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 