Why I’m all for Banning Books

A Book Burning in 21st-Century Canada - WSJ

Fewer books in our libraries means more room for homeless drug addicts.

Homosexuality is completely antithetical to our existence so it makes sense that, if our children see a homosexual alluded to in a book, they will instantly turn gay.

Who knows better what we should read and not read than a bunch of illiterate protesters of “subversive literature”?

Banning books is not banning ideas. You can think whatever you want to think. You just can’t put those thoughts to paper and publish them.

You need to get rid of books on slavery so Republican children don’t feel bad about themselves. You need to get rid of books like James Joyce’s Ulysses and Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye so Republican parents don’t feel bad about not understanding them.

Banning books will give us the Utopian society predicted by Ray Bradbury in Fahrenheit 451.

Frankly, I’ll be glad to get rid of all books if no one ever has to read Katherine Hepburn’s Me again.

You think your child is going to grow up normal; but, then they read a book about gay penguins and suddenly they want to be penguins.

I don’t want my kids reading something like Naked Lunch and then coming to me with questions I can’t answer like “Daddy? What made William Burroughs think he was a writer?”

I’m all for keeping books that offend me out of the public libraries because there is a minuscule but very real chance I may one day go to a library…

12 thoughts on “Why I’m all for Banning Books

  1. I recently found a second-hand copy of the 60th anniversary edition of Fahrenheit 451, including all kinds of background information and commentaries. Bradbury was my favourite author, hands down, when I was a teenager/twenty-something but I had lost that book along the way. I couldn’t believe how well it had aged!!! And REALLY fun, ironic fact: the version you and I would have read in high school was highly censored to win school-board approval as high-school reading material (🙄). The printers mistakenly transferred the censored text to all successive printings from 1973 to 1980. It was some high school students who compared the censored version with an older version and eventually pointed it out to Bradbury. I realized, as I was reading the 60th anniversary edition, that I had never read the uncensored version. It was a GREAT improvement on an already great book… p.s. loved every word of this post 😀😀😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow! I did read Bradbury in high school during that period (The Illustrated Man, The Martian Chronicles), but I never knew they were edited. I think I’ll have to dig up that version of Fahrenheit 451 after I finish Norm MacDonald’s “Based on a True Story”…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. All the ideas in books are counterproductive to GDP contribution. We can’t have people wanting to sing, dance, play, have fun being homosexual or any of this distracting nonsense which pulls you out of the factory or office. The GDP is all.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. OMG, I’m laughing so hard right now, but I’m pleased in a way. I thought you were going say the drug addicts didn’t need toilet paper anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

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