Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
Something might’ve gone wrong with his jet-pack… ☺ I over-inflated him. ☺ He got into the pork chop-flavored alka-seltzer that I keep in the medicine cabinet. ☺ I suspect that the animal I trained and nurtured might’ve been a propane tank. That would explain why he hissed instead of barked. ☺ I pulled his pin. […]
Read More Possible Reasons My Dog ExplodedConsidering the intensity of labor pains, being at the birth of my child violates my number one rule: Never be with your wife when she has carte blanche to tell you exactly what she thinks of you. ◙ The sound of the episiotomy made my skin crawl. When I think about it, I cross my […]
Read More Why I Shouldn’t have been at the Birth of My ChildRub two sticks together. Invariably, afterwards, one of the sticks lights up a cigarette while the other wants to spoon. Use the embers from that cigarette to start a fire. ☼ If you have car keys, use them to drive somewhere there are matches. ☼ If you have a gun and ammunition, take a bullet […]
Read More How to Start a Fire without MatchesI was born in the house my father built… Every board was nailed in with his own hand. Every roofing tile was lovingly stolen from the construction site next door. Every wire was stripped from an old appliance and spliced together with newspaper and maple syrup. My father, in a space of eleven short years, […]
Read More home is where you hang your headA lot of things are somewhat endearing; but, a trained bear will dance his way into your heart… although they prefer to use their teeth and claws to get at that particular organ. There is something about watching a small, toothless malnourished bear shift from foot to foot like a teenager buying condoms at a […]
Read More The Ursine Rhythm of the Dancing Bear
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 