Possible Reasons My Dog Exploded

Posted on by masercot

The Exploding Anti-Tank Dogs of World War II - YouTube

Something might’ve gone wrong with his jet-pack…

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I over-inflated him.

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He got into the pork chop-flavored alka-seltzer that I keep in the medicine cabinet.

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I suspect that the animal I trained and nurtured might’ve been a propane tank. That would explain why he hissed instead of barked.

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I pulled his pin.

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He ate a case of Girl Scout cookies and reached critical mass.

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Was he a service dog? Yeah, a FUNERAL service dog. [puts on fedora and lights up a cigarette… walks slowly into the rain]

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I put him into a hot oven but forgot to prick him all over with a fork.

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I took him to a neighbor’s house and she had a lot of cats. Maybe my dog tried to go in eight directions at the same time. He was both indecisive and insanely determined…

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He pooped in some guy’s yard who turned out to be a Scanner.

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It is probably my fault because I’ve been using him as a water heater but never installed a thermostat…

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He might’ve been working as a model for Jackson Pollack.

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Published by masercot