The Snow Leopard and the Perfect Murder

[Thanks to Deb for the photo] There was once a snow leopard who was in a very abusive marriage. He’d come home from work and say, “Hi, dear! How was your day?” and she’d respond, “What the HELL do you mean by THAT?”; and, then she’d hit him with an adjustable wrench for fifteen minutes. […]

On Grapefruit Operas

Prop swords are expensive; but, you can gut a grapefruit with just a spoon. ♥ A grapefruit opera is the only type of opera with a full day’s supply of vitamin C. ♥ A dozen grapefruits singing in harmony would be enchanting… I’d imagine… Also a little disturbing… ♥ In a grapefruit opera, you can […]

Why I Wish I Were a Short Guy

I could finally rid myself of those professional basketball scouts that keep following me around begging me to play for their team. ☻ I could jump up and down with joy and without the added anxiety of worrying that I’m about to jump into the ceiling fan. ☻ Nothing else motivates me. Maybe “Short Man […]

Still More Stuff I Hate

Gravity: It is the least favorite of the five basic forces. Mostly because Weak Nuclear Force never made my bowling trophy fall off the mantle. Yes, I know gravity is tied to the very fabric of space and time but how long should it be allowed to coast on that? People who don’t think ahead: […]