On Grapefruit Operas

L'amour des trois oranges à l'Opéra - Des nouvelles de la Butte aux Cailles

Prop swords are expensive; but, you can gut a grapefruit with just a spoon.

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A grapefruit opera is the only type of opera with a full day’s supply of vitamin C.

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A dozen grapefruits singing in harmony would be enchanting… I’d imagine… Also a little disturbing…

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In a grapefruit opera, you can always tell who the villain will be. Hint: It’s always the grapefruit.

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The time of day in which most grapefruit opera’s are set? Breakfast or brunch.

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In most grapefruit operas, the theme is conformity and perhaps rolling. They occasionally address the genocide that is juicers.

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It doesn’t matter what language the opera is performed in because grapefruits speak all languages equally well.

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The sourness of grapefruit should discourage audience members from bolting onto the stage and taking a bite out of one of the performers, as happened to Pavoratti during a production of Tosca.

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If there is a sword-fight sequence in your grapefruit opera, prepare to sweep up a lot of seeds.

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If the grapefruit opera gets a bad review, it won’t matter much because a grapefruit has a pretty thick skin.

13 thoughts on “On Grapefruit Operas”

      1. ALL the olives. Evil little creatures. Try to enhance them by putting them on something like pizza and I turn into Tom Hanks in Big when he is at the party and trying to clean his tongue off from such foul food.

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