On Grapefruit Operas

L'amour des trois oranges à l'Opéra - Des nouvelles de la Butte aux Cailles

Prop swords are expensive; but, you can gut a grapefruit with just a spoon.

A grapefruit opera is the only type of opera with a full day’s supply of vitamin C.

A dozen grapefruits singing in harmony would be enchanting… I’d imagine… Also a little disturbing…

In a grapefruit opera, you can always tell who the villain will be. Hint: It’s always the grapefruit.

The time of day in which most grapefruit opera’s are set? Breakfast or brunch.

In most grapefruit operas, the theme is conformity and perhaps rolling. They occasionally address the genocide that is juicers.

It doesn’t matter what language the opera is performed in because grapefruits speak all languages equally well.

The sourness of grapefruit should discourage audience members from bolting onto the stage and taking a bite out of one of the performers, as happened to Pavoratti during a production of Tosca.

If there is a sword-fight sequence in your grapefruit opera, prepare to sweep up a lot of seeds.

If the grapefruit opera gets a bad review, it won’t matter much because a grapefruit has a pretty thick skin.

13 thoughts on “On Grapefruit Operas

      1. ALL the olives. Evil little creatures. Try to enhance them by putting them on something like pizza and I turn into Tom Hanks in Big when he is at the party and trying to clean his tongue off from such foul food.

        Liked by 1 person

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