Employ These Job Interview Tips

Wear a nice suit, neutral colors and a silk tie; because, nothing indicates that you are a crackerjack spot-welder more than your dressing like an earl. Be ready with three references whose voices you can easily mimic on the phone. Don’t be late. In fact, get there early… like a day early. Sleep in one […]

ASSk the ASStrologer

[Jenny is an ASStrologer and serves New York’s five burros] Dear ASSk the ASStrologer, My boyfriend and I want to get married. Unfortunately, he’s playing hard to get, even going so far as hiring a fake “fiancée” to date him, sleep with him and make wedding plans for next June. It’s obvious he isn’t going […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered Superintelligent Dog Pt7

Dear Genetically-modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, What are your thoughts about the recent speculation that they may have found evidence of life on Mars? Cleland in New Zealand Dear Kiwi, That really depends on your definition of “life”. Some might say that people from Philadelphia are alive; but others, having met them, strongly disagree. Suffice to […]

Questions for the Dog

If anyone has any questions for the Bio-engineered Genetically-modified Superintelligent Dog, this would be the place for it. Just put your question in the comments section and the Dog’s assistants will comb through them and find those worthy of answering.

More Advice from My Dear Ol’ Grandpappy

If you start a diatribe with “I’m not racist, but…” you should probably end it by signing someone else’s name to it. Never give up your passion for learning. It is, however, okay to give up your passion for remembering what you’ve learned. Get someone to PAY you to do what you love. This is […]