Wear a nice suit, neutral colors and a silk tie; because, nothing indicates that you are a crackerjack spot-welder more than your dressing like an earl.
Be ready with three references whose voices you can easily mimic on the phone.
Don’t be late. In fact, get there early… like a day early. Sleep in one of the cubicles just to gauge what it might be like to live there if your landlord finds out you’ve been selling his copper pipe.
Have answers ready to questions like, “why did you leave your last job?” and “what are some of your faults?”… not to mention the important question of, “why did you sleep here, last night?”…
Let them know you are ready to work immediately… or sooner if you managed to hack into one of their computers during your overnight stay.
Jobs may seem easy because you don’t know them. You might apply for a manager position thinking that it is all firing people or taking credit for their work; but, being a manager is also about nepotism and drinking coffee…
Formulate your own questions ahead of time like, “What benefits do you offer?”, “what hours will I be expected to work” and “you aren’t really going to call my old boss are you?”…
Listen patiently while the interviewer prattles on about her company. Resist the urge to roll your eyes or hum, Sha na na-na-na-na live for today.
Follow up: After a week, send a respectful email letting the hiring agent know how pleasant it was to interview with him and that you know exactly where he lives.
If they call to tell you that you’ve got the job, resist the urge to mutter “suckers” under your breath…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
You forgot that you shouldn’t mention that shrine you keep to all your ex bosses
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My ex-bosses made shrines to ME!
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Do you know the meaning of the word delusional?
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It really happened. I left a skull coffee mug and a few knick knacks behind and, a few weeks later, I visited to find a shrine with those things on it… and my plant was dead…
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Some sound advice! Thank-you.
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Now, get out there and STEAL SOME PIPE!!!
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And if you’re spending the night? Don’t wear those slutty pajamas and oversleep. It can be embarrassing… or so I’ve been told.
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Remember to ask if slutty pajamas are part of the dress code… maybe casual Friday?
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I recommend the flannel ones… with feet. No one has ever been called a slut wearing those.
Or so I’ve heard.
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They don’t make them for guys my size…
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I liked it
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Thank you!
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Damn, I can’t think of anything to say. This is some funny stuff.
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You come up with plenty of good stuff. BTW, your book is heading my way. I’ll let you know what I think after I’ve finished it…
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Oh, great, are you gonna make me cry again?
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I wasn’t going to, but you made it sound like it might be fun…
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As long as you hold me.
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Being retired is the best job I ever had….as long as I can sell my wife that good writing/blogging is hard work. Hopefully she won’t see this comment and ruin my argument.
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Spouses don’t read our blogs… They have to listen to our nonsense all day so reading it is probably a no-go…
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I have a new blogpost on job interview tips 🙂
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