[After six months of unemployment, I have a job. Please allow me to share my wisdom on this subject with you] Don’t ask when you can apply for long-term disability. ֍ Don’t install Skyrim on your work computer. If, for some reason, it is already ON your work computer, don’t start a Wizard character because […]Read More Things NOT to Do When you Start a New Job
Your resume is scribbled on the back of a Dove Bar wrapper. At the point in your interview where the recruiter asks if YOU have any questions, you respond with, “Oh, you’ve been talking to ME?” You list Hackey-Sack as one of your skills. You call your interviewer, “Ted”, despite the fact that she’s clearly […]Read More Ten Reasons You Cannot Get that Job You Want
Freedom is the ability to buy firearms regardless of my race, creed or paranoid schizophrenia. Freedom is being treated fairly by the law regardless of whether I am white or slightly whiter than that. Freedom is being able to work at a job without being fired for my gender, religion; or, if my last name […]Read More What Does Freedom Mean to Me?
Make it an EEOC Thing: Convince your boss that you are a Bi Cherokee handicapped veteran and he will never be able to fire you for fear of discrimination claims. They know that, if they do fire you, they can be sued by all five of you. Do the Dirty Jobs: Volunteer for every task […]Read More Employ these Methods of Not Getting Fired
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? “You do NOT want to go into that bathroom” When you die, what do you want to be remembered for? Faking my death. What would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable? A subatomic particle that has a neutral charge and looks like Avril Lavigne… […]Read More Q and A’s