Your resume is scribbled on the back of a Dove Bar wrapper.
At the point in your interview where the recruiter asks if YOU have any questions, you respond with, “Oh, you’ve been talking to ME?”
You list Hackey-Sack as one of your skills.
You call your interviewer, “Ted”, despite the fact that she’s clearly named “Eleanor”…
When you are asked if you are bilingual, you answer that your sexual leanings are your own business.
When asked why you left your last job, you reply that you were too “real”…
Your only question about the company’s health plan is, “Do you cover in-patient psychiatric care?”
You listed one of your hamsters as a character reference.
When told there will be a background investigation, you say, “No problem” and then change the name and SSN on the job application.
When asked for an example of showing initiative at work, you tell them about the time that you cleaned out your desk ahead of time when you heard you were going to be fired.