Exotic Pets: Which One is Right for YOU?

Pot-bellied Pig: This pet says “attention whore” WAY better than dying your hair green or piercing your eyelids. When people approach you about the farm animal you have on a leash, look embarrassed at the attention as you soak it in like a vital nutrient… ☺ Hissing Cockroaches: The word “pet” is a hard one […]

Why We Need Crabman® More than Ever

In dark times such as these, we need a hero… a savior… a man with CRAB CLAWS FOR HANDS. ֍ It would be nice to see the word “carapace” in newspapers again… actually, it would just be nice to see newspapers again. ֍ Maryland needs a super hero to call their own besides John Waters… […]

Things that Fight for our Amusement

Dogs: I understand people’s condemnation of dog fighting. We love dogs. Dogs are man’s best friends. But, what if man wants to be entertained by watching two dogs fight to the death? A true friend would step up to the plate, right? I think the biggest problem people have with dog fights is that they […]

The Snow Leopard and the Perfect Murder

[Thanks to Deb for the photo] There was once a snow leopard who was in a very abusive marriage. He’d come home from work and say, “Hi, dear! How was your day?” and she’d respond, “What the HELL do you mean by THAT?”; and, then she’d hit him with an adjustable wrench for fifteen minutes. […]