Finish the Book: A Rant

I will NEVER finish this book… It’s partially my fault. I saw the words, “Timeless masterpiece” on the back cover and I bought it anyway. Maybe because Oprah recommended it. She spoke glowingly of the book although I was sure I saw here blinking “torture” in Morse code as she did it. What finally convinced […]

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Why I’m all for Banning Books

Fewer books in our libraries means more room for homeless drug addicts. ◦ Homosexuality is completely antithetical to our existence so it makes sense that, if our children see a homosexual alluded to in a book, they will instantly turn gay. ◦ Who knows better what we should read and not read than a bunch […]

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Why I’ll Never Write My Memoirs

Every character in it would be more interesting than I am. ♥ I’m afraid I’d let it slip out that I’m indirectly responsible for the Challenger Shuttle disaster. ♥ Every title I come up with has already been used… except Crime and Punishment, but who’d read a book with a title like THAT? ♥ I […]

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Literature Bits

I read Goethe’s Faust in the original German. I don’t speak a word of German so that makes my accomplishment even more impressive. ֍ I told my English teacher that I was a fatalist. She recommended I read The Oresteian Trilogy. I shrugged and went home and read it because, what choice did I have? […]

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