Before I Die: Bucket List Part Four

I want to sit on a California beach and watch the sun rise over the Pacific. I want to form a charity that feeds starving Asian children to starving African children. I want to be involved in a kidnapping… not necessarily with the snatching or holding; but, I could make photocopies or cook lunch for […]

A Bucket List to Die For

I want to see Naples in the Springtime… still smoldering from a volcanic explosion… I want to weave baskets with Scarlett Johansson… and by “weave baskets” I mean “have sex” and by “have sex” I mean “shoot pool”. I want to drive in the Indianapolis 500, going the wrong way with my right blinker on. […]

Other Bucket Lists Pail in Comparison

I want to see Rome before I die, preferably from a flying saucer. I want to make my own lizard using only items I have around the house. I want to perform the lead role in an all-nude production of Mame. I want to trip Charlie Sheen… or, if that isn’t possible, Emilio Estevez… I […]