A Bucket List to Die For

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I want to see Naples in the Springtime… still smoldering from a volcanic explosion…

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I want to weave baskets with Scarlett Johansson… and by “weave baskets” I mean “have sex” and by “have sex” I mean “shoot pool”.

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I want to drive in the Indianapolis 500, going the wrong way with my right blinker on.

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I want to learn another language. And, by “learn another language” I mean “shoot pool with Scarlett Johansson”.

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I want to finish the swimming lessons I started as a child; currently, I can swim okay but not in any particular direction…

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I want to eat a seven-course meal at a five-star restaurant; or, barring that, at five one-star restaurants.

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I want to give freely to my community by taking from adjacent communities.

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I want to grow one of those waxed and stylized mustache/beard combinations because I never want to have sex again.

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I want to be a dinosaur in a Broadway musical.

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I want to go back and live my life over again except for the kidney stones…

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27 thoughts on “A Bucket List to Die For

  1. My bucket list is pretty short so far, but while my sister and I were traveling out West in her RV and seeing many disasters waiting to happen, we amused ourselves by coming up with a list of “famous last words,” such as “I’ll be right back. Just wanna get a good picture of the canyon without this stupid railing in the way…”

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