Why I’m Sad

I’m sad when a tv series that I like ends because I can no longer follow the made up events in the lives of people who don’t exist. I get sad when one of my favorite actors or actresses dies. Personally, I always felt as if Don Knotts and Tim Conway had one more epic […]

Ask a Biologically-enhanced Super-intelligent Dog (Part 4, The Doggoning)

Dear Super Intelligent Dog (etc etc etc) my partner has taken to sharing our bed with a cat. What should I do? Also is it illegal to bury my partner on the backyard? – Deb Down Under Dear Ms. Under, First, there is no problem with sharing a bed with a cat, provided you aren’t […]

Thoughts on Dogs and their Food

If you feed your dog randomly, throughout the day, your dog will want food all the time; but, if you feed your dog on a strict schedule, it will only want food all the time… Cycle dog food varies its formula based on a dog’s age. Be careful! If you feed Cycle 4 to a […]

Ask a Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Speed Round

Q. My daughter is pregnant and I’m not happy about it. What should I do? A. Don’t worry. Your daughter’s condition should be back to normal in eight or nine months. If it isn’t, she’s probably just fat. Q. What is a good name for a pet spider? A. “Mr. Spider” Q. That’s not a […]

Breeds of Dog I Hate!

Pug: At one point in dog history, someone said, “I’m tired of dogs that look and act like dogs. Let’s create a breed that looks and acts like a surprised indignant old woman. Oh, and wasn’t it a shame about King Charles…” Here’s a tip: If it cannot jump off the couch without breaking a […]