Thoughts on Dog Tricks

Come When Called: This is probably the first thing you’ll try to teach a dog. REMEMBER: Smart dogs do NOT come when they are called. They are exploring the world. Why should the dog come to you when you call it? It already KNOWS what you smell like. Heel: Training a dog not to move […]

It was Never Easy for Me

I had a rough childhood. My family had nothing and had to borrow to get even that. We lived at the dump for years. When people hear this, they always ask the same question: “If you lived at the dump, where did you throw your trash?”. Well, it was Florida, so we threw it beside […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, Part ?

Dear Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, Can you play dead? And, are you a good dog? Who’s a good dog? WHO’S a good DOG? Enthusiastic in Jasto Dear Jasto, Good and evil are subjective constructs; however, I did fake my death in Cancun seven years ago for the insurance money. Dear Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, I […]

Ask a Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog: The Final Beginning

Dear Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, My husband is always asking for things in the bedroom that I am unable to provide… like antimatter or fat-free butter. I tell him that I’m not a machine and he shrugs and pulls out my batteries. I’m at my wits end because I don’t know if I should serve […]

Service Animals, Their Dangers and Functions

Back when I was a kid, there were only seeing-eye dogs. That is to say, if you were a dog and wanted a career path that didn’t involve you bouncing around like an idiot, then you would become a seeing-eye dog. They don’t call them that much anymore. Now, they are “guide dogs” because the […]