My Mystery, Cha Seven

Partridge asked for the chambermaid, next; and, while the two were waiting, Kossov asked, “So, do you think it was the cook?” “I briefly considered that his monkey might’ve scraped the caramel off the flan while he committed the murder; but, having seen that flan, I noticed no more than the usual amount of monkey […]

The Perks of having a Pet Tapeworm

If I we get into an argument and I call it a “parasite”, I’ll be technically correct… the best KIND of correct. Since it lives in my stomach, I don’t need a litter box. Although, if I reflect on that fact too much, I get nauseous… I didn’t even have to BUY my pet tapeworm. […]

Thoughts on Canadian Foods

Poutine: French fries, cheese curds, gravy… kind of like that random list of words that Donald Trump had to memorize to prove he didn’t have dementia. Ever been to a McDonalds, bought some fries and thought to yourself, “this would be a lot better with some cottage cheese on it” Tourtiere: In most countries, when […]

How to Tell if Your Species is About to Become Extinct

You can’t live inside walls, under sinks, or get inside a dumpster… You have an innate need to cross six-lane highways. An apex-predator has been introduced into your ecosystem and, besides eating apexes, it also eats everything that you eat plus you and your friends. A real estate agent says, “And, this is where the […]

Stuff We Learned from the Debate

Thanks to president Trump, insulin is cheaper than water… now that water is a thousand dollars a liter. We learned that his being an obnoxious jackass doesn’t end at seven o’clock at night. We learned that he doesn’t SUPPORT Nazis; but, he does tell them what to do. We learned that Biden’s son had a […]