Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
I have no desire to dominate the world. I just want to destroy it. ֎ If I were pure evil, I’d have already indicated so on my Tinder profile. ֎ Given a choice between an act of altruistic good and unspeakable evil, I will always perform the act nearest to where my car is parked. […]
Read More How I Know I’m Not Pure EvilI’ve been taking smart pills that a friend sold me for a thousand dollars. ☻ I CAN tell my ass from my elbow thanks to a 3 x 5 card I keep in my pocket for reference. ☻ I always pay off my credit card debt; in fact, I keep a Visa card just for […]
Read More How I Know That I’m Not a Dumb-assI have a black friend and he doesn’t think I’m racist… I guess… we don’t talk much. ☺ Because Africa is the country I’d most like to visit. ☺ Because I almost never do that thing where I stretch my eyes with my fingers and sing, “I’m a rittre china-boy”… just at weddings and children’s […]
Read More How I know I’m Not a RacistThose people I was talking to were probable going to fall asleep anyway. ♥ If being a bore was my problem, why do deaf people ALSO avoid me? ♥ When I have a conversation, I stick to universal themes such as transfinite number sets and Proust’s overuse of possessive pronouns. ♥ I don’t monopolize the […]
Read More How I Know that I’m Not a BoreI don’t condescend to women. For you gals, that means I don’t needlessly explain things that you already know. I don’t think a woman’s place is in her home; and, this is not just because I don’t think women should own property. I think women deserve the same wages as men; although, I think they […]
Read More I Know I’m Not a Misogynist Because…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 