How I Know that I’m Not a Bore

12 Tips for Being Happy at a Boring Job |

Those people I was talking to were probable going to fall asleep anyway.

If being a bore was my problem, why do deaf people ALSO avoid me?

When I have a conversation, I stick to universal themes such as transfinite number sets and Proust’s overuse of possessive pronouns.

I don’t monopolize the conversation. I give the other person plenty of chances to nod in agreement.

All my friends tell me that I’m fascinating and that I don’t understand sarcasm.

If I were a bore, would they have paid me three thousand dollars to speak at that conference on insomnia?

People said it was because I was boring but there are a lot of reasons a person would throw herself in front of a car mid-conversation.

Some people call me dull just because I seldom use verbs when I talk.

Sometimes, when I’m out on a date, my date finds my words so powerful that she excuses herself to go to the bathroom, forgets where she is and wanders home.

I can’t be a bore. I’ve been told that people hang themselves on my every word.

16 thoughts on “How I Know that I’m Not a Bore

  1. H. L. Mencken said, “The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals.” — the exception being most politicians (unless one considers them to be human beings).

    Liked by 1 person

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