How I Know That I’m Not a Dumb-ass

What a dumbass! - Obama 9 Laugh Line | Meme GeneratorI’ve been taking smart pills that a friend sold me for a thousand dollars.

I CAN tell my ass from my elbow thanks to a 3 x 5 card I keep in my pocket for reference.

I always pay off my credit card debt; in fact, I keep a Visa card just for that purpose.

If I were a dumb-ass, would I have a bachelor’s degree in Bigfootology?

Dumb-asses are always getting ripped off; but, I purchased a special healing crystal that repels deceitful people.

True dumb-asses think that the people on the television can see and hear them. But, I know they can only see me if they are looking in my direction.

Dumb-asses are easily influenced by commercials. They have no effect on me; and, I believe that as firmly as I believe that Dr. Pepper is the most original soft drink ever in the whole wide world.

Being a dumb-ass is something you are born with. Being willfully ignorant is HARD WORK.

Unlike dumb-asses, I can finish three books a week… even more if I have enough crayons.

Dumb-asses are easily panicked and manipulated. The only things I’ve ever panicked over have been Ebola and Jewish space lasers.

11 thoughts on “How I Know That I’m Not a Dumb-ass

  1. If you voted for Donald Trump, you’re a dumb ass. If I thought that observation is brilliant, I’m a dumb ass. Between the three of us, that adds up to two dumb asses, one ass whole, and one half-ass comment (or, at least, within the margin of hot error).

    Liked by 1 person

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