Reasons YOU should Own a Cat

You want someone to both live with you and hate you utterly; and, your mother-in-law is dead. ☼ There’s perfectly good wall paper in your guest bathroom that has never been shredded. ☼ You’ve always wanted a pet that periodically vomits its own hair. ☼ You need a smaller pet but with the loyalty of […]

Read More Reasons YOU should Own a Cat

A Disappointing Essay

I am disappointed. It’s a vague general disappointment, like when you watch a Youtube video of a bullmastiff playing with a kitten and the kitten doesn’t get eaten…. or when you find out all the colors on candy corn taste exactly the same. I thought it might be a mid-life crisis but then I realized, […]

Read More A Disappointing Essay

Identity Theft

First, be SURE it was stolen. When I lose something, it usually falls down my pants-leg into my boot. Then, the cat defecates into that boot because I left her alone for a weekend, WITH FOOD AND WATER, but she’s still plenty miffed. If my identity is in that boot, I’ll get myself another, thank […]

Read More Identity Theft