All You Can Eat? Challenge Accepted

Feast at the Best All-You-Can-Eat Buffets in Tampa

Some people fast before going to an all-you-can-eat buffet when just purging in the parking lot is sufficient.

Most people prefer the buffet items that are one row back from the front because those get sneezed on a lot less.

Don’t fill up on bread. If it is a Chinese food buffet, don’t fill up on rice and soup. If it is an Italian food buffet, don’t fill up on pasta. If the buffet is Korean food, just back out of the restaurant without making eye contact with the staff.

Nutritionists had a theory that people might actually eat LESS at an all-you-can-eat buffet. That theory was so wrong that it literally affected the tides.

If you wait ten minutes between buffet visits, you’ll eat a lot less… so, try to fill a plate every nine minutes.

Are you getting your money’s worth? If the staff and owner are openly glaring at you then YES YOU ARE!!!

Go for the most expensive foods. A caviar, prosciutto and heart of palm sandwich may not taste very good, but they will induce glares the like of which you’ve never experienced.

Sometimes, you just have to stop eating due to the strain on your heart and stomach; but, there’s STILL FOOD YOU HAVEN’T EATEN. And, THAT is why God invented the handbag.

For dessert, get two giant soup-bowls full of frozen yogurt toppings. Eat them with your hands and chew slowly while you look the owner directly in the eye.

Avoid any dish with the words “fiesta” or “casserole” in it… ESPECIALLY, “Fiesta Casserole”…

Leave your children at home. They are too young to have the need to eat their anger and anxiety away… so, they’ll only eat as much as is comfortable and then slow YOU down as they get bored and fidgety…

The quality of an all-you-can-eat restaurant can be determined by how quickly it goes out of business.

21 thoughts on “All You Can Eat? Challenge Accepted

    1. My ex would forget about rolls she’d stashed in her purse a lot… I told her to go on Let’s Make a Deal. Remember how at the end of the show he’d say, “I’ll give you a hundred dollars… if you have a… lemon…”

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is true: Some time ago, we had a mass shooting event happen at a Chinese all-you-can-eat restaurant a few miles away from us. It was the ultimate senseless shooting–was the shooter upset that he didn’t have enough to eat? Or that there wasn’t enough jello with pineapple chunks? All I could come up with was that he was frustrated because there weren’t enough chopsticks and mini-parasol toothpicks to go round.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Um, what about if I begin my meal with the chocolate frozen yogurt, then for the main course have chocolate frozen yogurt, with chocolate frozen yogurt for dessert? I could do the two-soup-bowls-of-toppings-with-eye-contact too… Would that be okay?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m a light eater, so I eat in a flash.
    The bulbs are crispy, but stick in my mustache.
    If the batteries are bad, it makes me ill….
    But if they’re good, I eat my fill
    Except for the on-off button.
    Because, you see, I’m not a glutton.

    Liked by 1 person

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