You want someone to both live with you and hate you utterly; and, your mother-in-law is dead.
☼
There’s perfectly good wall paper in your guest bathroom that has never been shredded.
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You’ve always wanted a pet that periodically vomits its own hair.
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You need a smaller pet but with the loyalty of a dog and you don’t have a clear idea of what the word “loyalty” means…
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There are rodents all over your house and you’d rather not support the huge global mousetrap corporations.
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You want to own something that will get stuck in a tree and you’re too out of shape to fly a kite.
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You need the warmth and comfort of an animal that allows itself to sit on your lap and be petted… for about forty-five seconds a day.
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You want to use the cat to incentivize your daughter’s guinea pig.
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You want an animal that gets high off of an herb that you cannot get high from… unlike those dog barbiturates that left you unconscious in an empty swimming pool…
☼
You should own a cat when you finally break free from the shackles that say you can’t live alone and like it and you also want your house to smell like cat pee…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
And I DO own a cat…
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So do I
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For the hair-vomiting, right?
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You got it.
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Ok C, you are really pushing your luck here 🤨
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You gave me the idea when you were talking about your cat. So… in a way, this is YOUR fault, DA Whittam…
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Don’t rebuke the sick person
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What illness do you have, Deb?
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Nothing serious, just a very sore throat and gasto
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Valid reasons all, but don’t forget you’re too cheap to buy an alarm clock and yes, you really did want to get up at 2:30 this morning.
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Whenever my family would go away for a few days, the cat would come into my room at night and just stare at me while it thought I was sleeping. Then, it would jump on my face from the floor. I caught her once and she slashed my neck with a single claw. Good luck sleeping after that…
And, I was her favorite…
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Being the favorite isn’t always a good thing…
🤣
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The worst was, if we left her alone for a couple of days, she would keep trying to “knead” my thighs. You know, put her claws in and out. If I managed to avoid it, she’d keep trying for days until she got me…
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My cat is as narcissistic as I am. We barely pay attention to each other but we’re happy we live together for those small moments of comfort.
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Speaking FOR the cat, are you? It won’t like that…
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I don’t want or own a cat, but I do own a spouse,
Though she throws things at me and calls me a louse.
Why, I don’t understand, because I let her grouse….
And sometimes, I even let her out of the house.
Once I bought her a loose-fitting blouse….
All the better in which to drop down a dead mouse.
Yet, despite all I do, my dreams she doth douse,
Leading me to drink and becoming a souse. 😉
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Bravo! BRAVO!
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Gee, I didn’t think I wanted a cat, but after this beguiling account of warm and fuzzy pet ownership I might just have to give it a try…
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I don’t know whether I like the smell or the clawings best… I had one cat and, say what you like, she was the grim reaper to rodents…
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Haha, she wasn’t the kind to generously gift you with the kill, I hope… 😆
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She tried that with my ex-wife a few times… and she FREAKED OUT. Once, after a weekend away, we came home and suddenly my wife with in hysterics… screaming and running up to the bathroom. The cat had left her half a mouse in front of the refrigerator. When she first stepped on it, she thought it was a grape. It wouldn’t have been so traumatic if she’d been wearing shoes…
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Aaaaaaaaugh! 😱🤣
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Beware though: they make GREAT alarm clocks except you don’t get to choose the hour you’ll be awakened, and TRUST me, it’ll be earlier than you wanted 🤓🤓🤓
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With the anticipation of a cat jumping onto your face, you might not sleep at all…
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I am a mean cat mother: if I get up in the night to go to the bathroom, I close the bedroom door before I get back in bed 😬😬😬😬😬 I’m not QUITE mean enough (yet) to just close the door when I GO to bed. There are limits to meanness…
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From what I’ve seen, there’s an entire group of people who constantly test those limits…
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