Reasons YOU should Own a Cat

How To Tell if Your Cat is Possessed - YouTube

You want someone to both live with you and hate you utterly; and, your mother-in-law is dead.

There’s perfectly good wall paper in your guest bathroom that has never been shredded.

You’ve always wanted a pet that periodically vomits its own hair.

You need a smaller pet but with the loyalty of a dog and you don’t have a clear idea of what the word “loyalty” means…

There are rodents all over your house and you’d rather not support the huge global mousetrap corporations.

You want to own something that will get stuck in a tree and you’re too out of shape to fly a kite.

You need the warmth and comfort of an animal that allows itself to sit on your lap and be petted… for about forty-five seconds a day.

You want to use the cat to incentivize your daughter’s guinea pig.

You want an animal that gets high off of an herb that you cannot get high from… unlike those dog barbiturates that left you unconscious in an empty swimming pool…

You should own a cat when you finally break free from the shackles that say you can’t live alone and like it and you also want your house to smell like cat pee…

26 thoughts on “Reasons YOU should Own a Cat

    1. Whenever my family would go away for a few days, the cat would come into my room at night and just stare at me while it thought I was sleeping. Then, it would jump on my face from the floor. I caught her once and she slashed my neck with a single claw. Good luck sleeping after that…

      And, I was her favorite…

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The worst was, if we left her alone for a couple of days, she would keep trying to “knead” my thighs. You know, put her claws in and out. If I managed to avoid it, she’d keep trying for days until she got me…


  1. I don’t want or own a cat, but I do own a spouse,
    Though she throws things at me and calls me a louse.
    Why, I don’t understand, because I let her grouse….
    And sometimes, I even let her out of the house.
    Once I bought her a loose-fitting blouse….
    All the better in which to drop down a dead mouse.
    Yet, despite all I do, my dreams she doth douse,
    Leading me to drink and becoming a souse. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      1. She tried that with my ex-wife a few times… and she FREAKED OUT. Once, after a weekend away, we came home and suddenly my wife with in hysterics… screaming and running up to the bathroom. The cat had left her half a mouse in front of the refrigerator. When she first stepped on it, she thought it was a grape. It wouldn’t have been so traumatic if she’d been wearing shoes…


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