home is where you hang your head

I was born in the house my father built… Every board was nailed in with his own hand. Every roofing tile was lovingly stolen from the construction site next door. Every wire was stripped from an old appliance and spliced together with newspaper and maple syrup. My father, in a space of eleven short years, […]

The Ursine Rhythm of the Dancing Bear

A lot of things are somewhat endearing; but, a trained bear will dance his way into your heart… although they prefer to use their teeth and claws to get at that particular organ. There is something about watching a small, toothless malnourished bear shift from foot to foot like a teenager buying condoms at a […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered, Super-Intelligent Dog: The Director’s Cut

Dear Traumatically Modified Super Dog, I was in my yard and overheard my neighbor referring to me as “white trash”. He didn’t see me there because I was behind the old refrigerator lying in the tall grass of my front yard. I thought he and I were getting along… in fact, I thought he liked […]

The Random Thoughts from Beyond Time

I keep a knife by my bed so, if I ever start contemplating taking up model trains as a hobby, I can stab myself to death. ֍֍ I used to have really strict criteria for my girlfriends. Now, she just has to have at least one breast and be capable of making toast. ֍֍ Dungeons […]