Lessons Learned From Fighting the Borg

I know now that the kids who used drugs were not cool… just cooler than the ones who didn’t… Treating other people with the same respect I would want for myself turned out to be a great way to trick idiots into doing what I wanted. Someone once told me, “Do what you love and […]

Thoughts on Cooking

When a chef burns something the term for that is “caramelization”. They say you can substitute a quarter cup of applesauce for an egg when cooking; but, I’ve found it makes a pretty uninspiring omelet. Cut tough meat across the grain. You’ll know which way the grain goes because it will always be the direction […]

The Volatile Delectation of the Exploding Ant

A recent expedition, by the Natural History Museum of Vienna, Technical University of Vienna, and other contributing institutions, has discovered a new species of ant in Borneo. Normally, that news would have all the impact of three-minute disposable catheter commercial; but, these ants are special. They explode. Colobopsis explodens, when defending themselves or perhaps just […]

Let Me Allay Your Fears…

You shouldn’t worry about dying young because, frankly, you AREN’T that young anymore. You are NOT being followed. They know your schedule so well, they are already waiting for you at your destination. You think that your frustrating day at work is a symptom of failing memory due to age; but, nothing could be further […]

Random Thoughts: The Home Game

A man cannot serve two masters; however, with a little instruction, he can serve a tennis ball. If you need a sure-fire way to alienate a room full of people, might I recommend heckling a eulogy? A wonderful name for a doctor who treats impotency would be “Grant Wood”. A little known fact about Formula […]