Thoughts on Eighties Video Games

Space Invaders: When the attackers come, they will come in orderly rows because only the most anal-retentive species can master interstellar travel. Pac Man: He eats and he eats and he eats and it never ever takes away the pain. And, as a bonus, the ghosts of everyone he’s ever consumed will eventually drive him […]

Other Stuff that I Want

A seeing-eye hot blonde. A set of fine china with images of half-eaten food painted on them. A mockingbird and an ultrasensitive cat Mood toilet paper A nice set of chef’s knives and a nice chef to go with them A lace and silk handkerchief because I’ve always wanted to start an illegal street race […]

Planning for your Retirement

Nothing beats an IRA or, as I call it, “Charlie’s Impulse-Spending Fund”… Δ Retirement is much cheaper if you live with one of your kids. Choose the one who paused the least when you asked if you could live with him… Δ In warmer climates, nothing beats living in a refrigerator box. Δ There are […]

Thoughts on Hamlet

Hamlet is a play about a young man who finds out his father was murdered so he kills nearly everyone he’s ever known. It’s called a “tragedy” because snuff-films had yet to be invented. The Lion King is the first and probably the last Disney cartoon to be based on Hamlet. There were a few […]

What I Miss About Working On-Site

I miss the frequent fire alarm evacuations. It was as if the mom of everybody said, “It’s too nice outside for you to be on that computer”… I miss copying the inside of my mouth to check for a swollen uvula. I miss talking to others over a wall. I think it really helped me […]