What I Miss About Working On-Site

Office. Office Cubicles: New Office Cubicles At Arnolds Furniture ...

I miss the frequent fire alarm evacuations. It was as if the mom of everybody said, “It’s too nice outside for you to be on that computer”…

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss copying the inside of my mouth to check for a swollen uvula.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss talking to others over a wall. I think it really helped me to understand what it was like to live in Berlin during the Cold War…

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss the surprisingly good bakery in my building because, with my desk job, I can afford a few extra calories.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss sitting in an office chair with more levers and buttons than I have functions for. On button seemingly does nothing but I suspect it controls a vibrating bed in a motel in South Bend.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss my subway commute because it allowed me two and a half hours to really relate to gophers.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss wearing pants but not so much that I’m wearing pants.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss the elevators, my first chance of the day to make others uncomfortable, “Look at this weather, won’t you? The kind of weather that makes you want to hang yourself from your own necktie in the bathroom so that they find you pretty quickly—oh, there’s my floor!”

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss the tuna fish sandwich that I left in my desk four months ago…

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss interacting with a diverse mixture of age groups, genders, nationalities and cultures, all of whom, in a social situation, would avoid me like I had the plague.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

I miss standing and urinating next to a coworker who, five minutes ago, I was having a meeting with.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

Working from home cheapens holidays, vacation days and weekends.

New Cubicle Systems for the Modern Office | Arnold's

 

28 thoughts on “What I Miss About Working On-Site

  1. More brilliance. “I miss interacting with a diverse mixture of age groups…” In the short instances when I was actually in an office, I would find myself looking around, asking: “What am I doing here with all these idiots?” And they were idiots. People whom I would never hang around with in high school. I even got hired once at a major metropolitan newspaper, and I “expected” everyone to be more intelligent. The problem was, I was on the “stupid” side of the floor. The advertising/sales side. The smart people were on the other side of the floor. “The editorial” side. And no, they don’t let you transfer over. So you are there, but you’re not there. The editorial people don’t see you or talk to you. So I came really close to living my life as Clark Kent.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. After a certain age, men become invisible. No one wants your DNA, you can’t offer an employer anything a 30 couldn’t do cheaper, and you’re behind the times so who’ll listen to you? Oh, if you’re spending money somewhere…then they’ll see you. Which explains why women chat so much and won’t just pay at the register and GTF out of the way for the people behind them in the long line…old woman want to be seen too, and they’ll demand more than men will. Men will pay and run. Women will tie up the line chatting about their damn grandkids for hours. Which also explains the rise in on-line shopping and the success of Amazon.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m gagging at all the left half eaten sandwiches I am finding in Bob’s new workspace. Thankfully, I wasn’t feeding him lunch four months ago. So, if his office is filled with rotten food, someone else was feeding him.

    Liked by 2 people

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