I miss the frequent fire alarm evacuations. It was as if the mom of everybody said, “It’s too nice outside for you to be on that computer”…
I miss copying the inside of my mouth to check for a swollen uvula.
I miss talking to others over a wall. I think it really helped me to understand what it was like to live in Berlin during the Cold War…
I miss the surprisingly good bakery in my building because, with my desk job, I can afford a few extra calories.
I miss sitting in an office chair with more levers and buttons than I have functions for. On button seemingly does nothing but I suspect it controls a vibrating bed in a motel in South Bend.
I miss my subway commute because it allowed me two and a half hours to really relate to gophers.
I miss wearing pants but not so much that I’m wearing pants.
I miss the elevators, my first chance of the day to make others uncomfortable, “Look at this weather, won’t you? The kind of weather that makes you want to hang yourself from your own necktie in the bathroom so that they find you pretty quickly—oh, there’s my floor!”
I miss the tuna fish sandwich that I left in my desk four months ago…
I miss interacting with a diverse mixture of age groups, genders, nationalities and cultures, all of whom, in a social situation, would avoid me like I had the plague.
I miss standing and urinating next to a coworker who, five minutes ago, I was having a meeting with.
Working from home cheapens holidays, vacation days and weekends.