Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
There are no gunfights, car chases, martial arts and, if there IS a topless scene, it happened while I was in the bathroom. ♦ They call it “Citizen” Kane, but you never get to see his long form birth certificate. ♦ He called his sled, “Rosebud”, which is not a sled name. Sleds have names […]
Read More Everything Wrong with Citizen KaneCut off the head and stuff the mouth with garlic. Resist the urge to put the head into a 350 degree oven with potatoes. ♥ You can kill a vampire with a stake through his heart… but, you can kill just about anything with a stake through the heart. ♥ Bury a vampire under running […]
Read More How to kill a vampireTo a black-and-white monster movie fan, the only thing more terrifying than a mummy is the prospect of getting out, meeting new people and having a normal life. The concept of the mummy is a universal one: A person so dedicated to their job that they can never die is familiar to anyone who’s […]
Read More The Woeful Malaise of the MummyIt’s a Steven Segal movie called, “Straight to Video”. ♦ All the nude scenes have some kind of product placement in them. ♦ Some of the cast have two or more roles… in the same scene… and have to walk from one side of the shot to the other and put on a different hat. […]
Read More How You Can Tell the Movie You are Watching is Low BudgetIf you are fighting a good guy, don’t worry about it. He’ll either shoot you in the shoulder or the hand so you won’t die until sepsis or gangrene kicks in three days later. ♣ When having a gun-fight, always keep the Sun behind you because why add skin cancer to being shot? ♣ If […]
Read More So, You’re in a Western Movie and You’ve Been Challenged to a Gunfight
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 