New Year’s Resolutions

I resolve to finish training my prototype of the first seeing-eye cheetah, thereby giving the blind the ability to drive on most U.S. highways; moreover, I will try to breed out the DNA segment that makes the animal dangerously cheesy… I resolve not to try to explode the heads of my fellow subway riders through […]

What to have on Television at Holiday Dinner with In-Laws

Die Hard: An epic action movie about an international terrorist prick who plays a deadly game of cat and mouse with an American prick in the form of Bruce Willis. You’ve seen it a million times and it serves well during those periods of awkward silence after your wife’s cousin has finished talking about his […]

The Reindeer at a Glance

Dasher: Despite his name, Dasher is not the fastest of Santa’s team… nor is he the strongest. He was a Marine in the Pacific theater of WWII. Hired after he pulled St Nick into a foxhole during an ill-advised Christmas visit to Guadalcanal; and, Santa Claus feels that he “owes him”. Other reindeer think of […]

Employment in the Time of the Donald

I’ve seen a lot of complaints over this tax bill just because it makes the rich richer and the poor poorer and without health insurance. But, the rich are stepping forward to grab the bull by the horns or to at least get their servants to grab the bull by the horns while they stand […]

Evil Charities that Piggyback on Other Charities

Habitat Against Humanity: Average people get together to build crack-houses, black-ops prison camps and crooked retirement homes for those who are obviously less fortunate. Salvation Coast Guard: Pretty much the same as the Salvation Army except can only operate a dozen or so miles offshore. Please… give until we board and search your boat… March […]