I Know What You Want to See…

Sponge crabs and plenty of ’em. I write this one during a pretty emotional time of my life: That period between birth and fifteen minutes ago. Please enjoy… The Lugubrious Synchronicity of the Sponge Crab

Mama, Will We Ever Make it Home? Tips for the D.C. Metro System

Always let at least half of the people who need to de-train out of the train before pushing your way in like some brain-dead, type-a salmon. If there is a problem the will delay your commute for an hour or so, the Metro makes announcements which are garbled incomprehensible walls of sound over their PA […]

June 26, This Day in HISTORY!!!

On June 26th 1948, Shirley Jackson published her short story, The Lottery, in the New Yorker magazine. What are the odds of that?! Much of the public furrowed their Neanderthal brows, shambled to their typewriters and wrote angry letters… mostly about not knowing what the HELL the story was about. It is an indictment […]

The Grapes of Wrandom Thoughts

Turns out the Poison Help Line doesn’t provide suggestions as to what kind of poison to use… just what to do if you eat some. Seems unnecessarily specific… I used to aspire to be a quadriplegic, then I realized that the word I was really looking for was “billionaire”. If the Star Wars universe was […]

Which Chinese Element are You?

As in Western astrology, Chinese astrology associates groups of signs with classical elements. For those who study Chinese astrology and analyze the relationships between birth year and cycles of nature, I just want to say, with great admiration, “Why are you wasting your life?”. Depending upon what element you were born under, you might have […]