Category: Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Hacks

Make your turkey a week ahead of time, then eat it and tell everyone Thanksgiving is canceled. ☼ Hors d’oeuvres can be made easily and quickly if you have Greek olives, Gryere cheese, crackers and an experienced chef who knows what to do with those things. ☼ Salad can be made faster if you break […]

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Stuff I’m Thankful for Part 2

I’m thankful for Byzantine architecture because, without it, a lot of Turks would’ve had to sleep out in the rain. ☻ I’m thankful for my children because they can be used as collateral in large drug deals. ☻ I’m thankful for turnips, especially the one that unclogged my bathtub… although, on reflection, that might have […]

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What I’m Thankful For, Part 3

I’m thankful for my two sons, without whom I’d still be wondering why my wife got so fat those two six-month periods in the nineties. I’m thankful for the First Amendment, which allows me to say what I want; and, for the Second Amendment which allows me to shoot people who say things I don’t […]

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Fun Facts About Thanksgiving!

  In 1863, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln officially made Thanksgiving a national holiday.  Celebrants could be thankful for their food, family and the fact that they hadn’t been killed by gangrene or mortar shells, yet. Lincoln wouldn’t let the Confederacy have Thanksgiving until they stopped being thankful for slaves and, to a […]

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