This Day in History: July 29

William Powell born on this day in 1892, the first act of a desperate man. Known primarily for the Thin Man series of moves, he managed to carry off his screen persona as a tough guy despite the fact that he weighed no more than a toddler. Hague Convention treaties were signed on […]

Solutions to America’s Debt

A one dollar surtax on every time a Texan uses the phrase, “That’s what SHE said” unless they are using it to convey what a female human or parrot actually said. Sell our tanks and missiles to smaller countries who are already at war on the condition that we get to film it and turn […]

Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol, Anymore

I want my public nudity to be MY idea… not the idea of the worm in a bottle of mescal… I dread accidentally ordering a “girl drink”. That warm feeling where you feel content and the world loves you lasts about ten minutes; then, you hit a bouncer with a bar stool because he purposely […]

Thoughts on Dog Tricks

Come When Called: This is probably the first thing you’ll try to teach a dog. REMEMBER: Smart dogs do NOT come when they are called. They are exploring the world. Why should the dog come to you when you call it? It already KNOWS what you smell like. Heel: Training a dog not to move […]

Ten Reasons You Cannot Get that Job You Want

Your resume is scribbled on the back of a Dove Bar wrapper. At the point in your interview where the recruiter asks if YOU have any questions, you respond with, “Oh, you’ve been talking to ME?” You list Hackey-Sack as one of your skills. You call your interviewer, “Ted”, despite the fact that she’s clearly […]