How to Avoid Ruining Your Life by Making a Racist Rant in Public

1. Don’t have a racist rant in public. 2. Try to avoid having any friends who might identify you to the press after the video hits Youtube. Fortunately, as a racist with no impulse control, you probably have few friends. 3. Pretend that you were misheard. Example: “I didn’t say Trump would kill all Asians… […]

What Does Freedom Mean to Me?

Freedom is the ability to buy firearms regardless of my race, creed or paranoid schizophrenia. Freedom is being treated fairly by the law regardless of whether I am white or slightly whiter than that. Freedom is being able to work at a job without being fired for my gender, religion; or, if my last name […]

To My Twitter Political Debate Opponents

Your side wants the death penalty; my side wants it abolished. Change the law so that, instead of being executed, criminals are just really badly beaten. Yes, I know you said you had sex with my mother for a dollar; but, my mother is in her seventies and doesn’t need the money (unless she’s been […]

Terse Llama’s Second Covid Advice Page

Dear Terse Llama, Just after the “stay-at-home order”, my wife issued a “now do all the chores you’ve been avoiding order”. I’ve carefully weighed out my options and I think a one in twenty chance of dying by suffocation would be far less unpleasant than trimming the hedges in my front and side yard. Can […]

It was Never Easy for Me

I had a rough childhood. My family had nothing and had to borrow to get even that. We lived at the dump for years. When people hear this, they always ask the same question: “If you lived at the dump, where did you throw your trash?”. Well, it was Florida, so we threw it beside […]