1. Don’t have a racist rant in public.
2. Try to avoid having any friends who might identify you to the press after the video hits Youtube. Fortunately, as a racist with no impulse control, you probably have few friends.
3. Pretend that you were misheard. Example: “I didn’t say Trump would kill all Asians… I said ‘all AVIANS’… I hate birds. A pox on them”
4. Before exploding in an American History X type tirade at the bakery, ask yourself, “Do people still carry cell phones?”
5. Don’t give the media the name of your “black friend” if you are the one who burned a cross on his front lawn.
6. Tell everyone that you were “stressed” that day because we all call Algerian men “Hadji” when we are stressed.
7. Telling a pair of strangers that they cannot speak Spanish to one another is not a good idea until you are officially made President of Everything.
8. Invent a racist identical twin. Apparently, you are the non-evil one.
9. As you eloquently explain your thoughts on “the races” just remember this helpful guideline: However persuasive you think you sound, multiply that times three and that is how disgusting you actually sound.
10. And, yes… your country IS being overrun by undesirables… but we still let you stay here… mostly because no other country will take you.