Lurid Facts about Blood

You have enough blood in your body to feed over seventy-five thousand mosquitoes; knowing this, I imagine you’ll still selfishly keep it to yourself for the most part… Mature red blood cells do not have nuclei. This is why they are constantly being laughed at by amoebae… Dogs have at least twelve blood types. DNA […]

Thoughts on PANIC

Most of the time that anyone in authority asks people not to panic is just after they’ve told them something sure to evoke panic. The word “panic” is based on the name of the Roman god of wine, Pan. You understand its origins when you note the reactions of a get-together of middle-aged ladies who […]

More Advice from My Dear Ol’ Grandpappy

If you start a diatribe with “I’m not racist, but…” you should probably end it by signing someone else’s name to it. Never give up your passion for learning. It is, however, okay to give up your passion for remembering what you’ve learned. Get someone to PAY you to do what you love. This is […]

A Bad Joke, but from the Hart

A veterinarian was complaining to a friend about a patient of his: “I’m treating this stag who has a split personality. He had a hundred thousand personalities when I started treating him; and now, he’s got ten TIMES that” The friend asked if he could see the animal and the vet took him to the […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Dog: The Aww-edition

Dear Genetically-Enhanced Bio-Engineered Dog, I’m a professor at a small mid-western university and lately I have been subjected to appropriate advances from one of my students. She KNOWS I’m a professor and yet she continues to make comments to me that are well within social norms and acceptability. How do I explain to her that […]