I Go Dark Again: Thoughts on Death

I thought that I was dying, once, but my life did NOT flash before my eyes. Instead, I relived the final season of Three’s Company, which was nice because Priscilla Barnes was just coming into her own, then. If I’m ever found dead in a motel room in women’s underwear, I hope to God I’m […]

What I Learned From Being in a Long-Term Relationship

I got to learn all of my faults, in great detail, as if Herman Melville had written about them in his book, Moby Fault. I learned that, regardless of what happens, my children always love me. I also learned that this is of small comfort. After being yelled at in the middle of the night […]

Hell-Houses for Sale

Lovely three bedroom, one bath three-story rambler convenient to liquor store and three massage parlors. Backs to unsettling graveyard. Seller motivated and terrified. Snug Tudor Efficiency Condo. Might have a pest problem but that depends on your attitude and gag reflex. Condo fee includes glue traps, concierge and doorman available in various stages […]

Stupid Animals: A Poem

They say pigs are awfully clever but, can they do your taxes? No, never! . They say the smartest birds are crows but, how one got stuck in my chimney nobody knows. . They say an elephant never forgets But, if they were smarter, they’d make better pets. . If a dog were smartes […]

Middle Ages Fun!

History Time! The daughters of Anna of East Anglia…