I got to learn all of my faults, in great detail, as if Herman Melville had written about them in his book, Moby Fault.
I learned that, regardless of what happens, my children always love me. I also learned that this is of small comfort.
After being yelled at in the middle of the night by a woman with a wet buttocks, I learned to leave the toilet seat down.
I learned that, if you are a man getting a divorce, the entire legal system is stacked against you; however, if you are a woman, the entire legal system is stacked against you.
I learned to NEVER be in the delivery room when my partner is giving birth because she’ll associate the pain of childbirth with looking at my stupid face.
I learned that the pain of childbirth is eventually forgotten; but, the pain of having to hear about the pain of childbirth continues long after the women has gone through menopause.
I learned that a man who cannot install a ceiling fan is a wimp; but, a woman who cannot make a tuna casserole is having sexist expectations forced on her.
I learned that, as a man, I am rather unimportant; but, as a bi-weekly paycheck, I am essential.
I learned you should never go to bed angry; but, going to couch angry is usually acceptable to both partners.
I learned that a relationship can only work if you give yourself utterly and completely so you can get whole thing over with.