The Most Selfish Woman I Ever Met

I met the most selfish woman EVER, last night. The evening started out nicely, at a good restaurant. She and I were talking about music. I looked down at my phone and noticed that our one hour anniversary was coming up. So, I presented her with her anniversary gift. She, on the other hand, seemed […]

The Skinny House that Almost Flew

Tiny houses are a big topic, right now. A lot of people are intrigued by the thought of being able to fry something on the stove with one foot in the bathtub. For some, it’s all about simplification: If you’ve got ninety-nine problems in a two thousand square foot house, you’ll only have ten in […]

Get Terse Medical Advice from a Llama

[Note: The Super-intelligent Bio-engineered Dog is not available due to a misunderstanding over yellow-cake uranium. But, a random llama has offered to stand in] Dear Terse Llama, My husband has recently started thinking that he is an animal. He sneaks into our neighbor’s chicken coop and eats the man’s chickens. Is he crazy? Wit’s End […]

Why I Think I Could Beat Mike Tyson

Because I’m delusional. Tyson is a short man. My longer arms would confuse him. While he was confused, I could shoot him. Years of celebrity, luxury and punching tigers to death have made him soft. Mike Tyson might hit pretty hard but I hurt my foot once and still managed to call for help. So, […]

Goals for 2019

I want to learn to speak Canadian. I want to learn about my ancestors from census documents, church records and tax documents. If I find one that is famous, I want to weave that into every conversation I have for the rest of my life. I want to simulate hiking the Appalachian Trail by pacing […]