Why I Think I Could Beat Mike Tyson

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That’s me in the white trunks

Because I’m delusional.

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Tyson is a short man. My longer arms would confuse him. While he was confused, I could shoot him.

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Years of celebrity, luxury and punching tigers to death have made him soft.

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Mike Tyson might hit pretty hard but I hurt my foot once and still managed to call for help. So, I think I can handle my head being punched off.

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I may seem old and out of shape but I’m also easily winded.

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I believe that, if motivated enough, I could kill a man with my mind.

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I realized that all of his opponents were boxers. Up against a middle-aged computer programmer, he wouldn’t know exactly how to attack. And, hitting someone is an exact science.

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He’ll take a dive because he owes me for sitting through The Hangover.

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Not many people know this, but Mike Tyson has a self-destruct button on the back of his neck.

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That which does not kill me makes me stronger… although I doubt that would apply in a fight with Tyson…

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15 thoughts on “Why I Think I Could Beat Mike Tyson

  1. I think you summed this one up in the very first line. Hey, only 10 more followers to go and we get the next instalment (I’m adding myself into the we there, since I didn’t get my special preview)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, right? I attended a full contact karate match between two overweight amateurs who looked more like football players. One launched a kick at the other’s nose and the other ducked right into it. Needless to say, the front row had more spots than a crate of Dick and Jane books…

      Liked by 1 person

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