Some Shaky Earthquake Tips

If you are at work and don’t have time to get outside, take cover under a table or a desk. If you were already under someone’s desk BEFORE the earthquake started, you should be ashamed of yourself… If you are outdoors, avoid power lines… unless you are a power line worker. In that case: GET […]

How Do I Know that the World is Flat?

We first understand that the Earth is flat based upon our perceptions. The same reason we know that a stop sign is red and that cartoons are magic pictures that move. For the round-Earth lie to succeed, pilots, NASA and birds would all have to be in on the conspiracy. Pilots and astronauts are bribed […]

A Bucket List to Die For

I want to see Naples in the Springtime… still smoldering from a volcanic explosion… I want to weave baskets with Scarlett Johansson… and by “weave baskets” I mean “have sex” and by “have sex” I mean “shoot pool”. I want to drive in the Indianapolis 500, going the wrong way with my right blinker on. […]

Fun Facts About Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman won an Emmy award for hosting the Tony Awards which is like a merit badge for getting the most merit badges. After getting a journalism degree at Sydney’s University of Technology, he pursued a drama career and caught it just before it could climb a fence and get away. He adopted a son […]

Leftovers Part 2: The Seduction of Ingrid Leftover

She complained that I was being pedantic. I replied, “Well, not exactly”. The pig-footed bandicoot went extinct in the 1950s. I like to think that, if I’d been there to stop it, I probably would’ve gotten distracted and let it happen anyway. Astronomers have spent a lot of time and effort to determine the origins […]