Leftovers Part 2: The Seduction of Ingrid Leftover

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She complained that I was being pedantic. I replied, “Well, not exactly”.

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The pig-footed bandicoot went extinct in the 1950s. I like to think that, if I’d been there to stop it, I probably would’ve gotten distracted and let it happen anyway.

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Astronomers have spent a lot of time and effort to determine the origins of the planet Mercury; because, if they find out where it came from, they can get all the Mercurys we need.

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MIT recently discovered a more effective way to generate single photons, taking us that much closer to the quantum computer. A regular computer only works in true/false answers; whereas, a quantum computer can claim true and false at the same time, making it a consummate politician.

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If you must donate an organ, do so with all your heart.

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If I were at the executioner’s block and I needed someone to plead my case AND I had a lot of points to make AND only thirty seconds in which to do so, I think the logical choice would be to hire an auctioneer.

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We had a neighbor who popped a lot of opiates. I was worried my child might get hurt if he played over there; then, I realized that, if he did, she’d have enough painkillers to make him feel better again.

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Nothing hurts quite so much as thinking that someone is your friend and that you can trust them… and then finding out you’ve got a kidney stone.

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For most of her marriage, I felt that my mother was just going through the motions. Later, I found out that she was a mime.

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For a man, a wedding anniversary is like a final exam that you aren’t allowed to study for and that counts for ninety percent of your grade…

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I was torn between “travesty”, “atrocity” and “spitting directly into the face of God”; but, I ultimately decided to tell her that her meatloaf was “just fine”…

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8 thoughts on “Leftovers Part 2: The Seduction of Ingrid Leftover

    1. His extinction just came to my attention while I was trying to come up with ideas. Kind of a cute creature… at least in photographs…

      But, making a creature extinct in Australia is like shooting fish in a barrel…

      Liked by 1 person

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