Gluten-Free Random Thoughts

I keep a mime in a large, transparent box… mostly for the sake of irony. ☻ There is literally no good reason to eat marshmallows… ☻ I lived in a town that was near the world’s largest baking soda volcano. One day, it erupted, flooding the town and relieving the acid re-flux of dozens of […]

I Go Dark: Benefits of Raising Children in Crates

It makes them far easier to mail. ● With kids safely in crates, you’ll be able to keep your poisons and cleaning supplies within easy reach. ● It helps them to appreciate the right to stand upright, which our forefathers died for. ● Keeping children in crates helps prepare them for careers as mimes. ● […]

Everybody Loves a Clown and I Wish They’d Stop

Deb guilted me into another one of these 42 word challenges. I am so mad about it I could just write! “I can’t go to the circus with you”, Sally said, “I’m terrified of clowns… I’ve always been” “I was, too”, replied Bob, taking her hand, “But, I’ve gotten over that by thinking of clowns […]

Secrets Mimes will Never Tell

Shields and Yarnell were mimes who performed in the seventies. They were given their own variety sketch show which was the most random act since 1945, when Salvador Dali ceded his power of attorney to a rice cooker. I saw an all-mime version of Key largo, once. It was pretty stupid but, when the hurricane […]

Police Blotter of East Westriverburg

11218 North South Street: Suspect was apprehended trying to activate a small light bulb with acid and two dissimilar metals. He was later charged with battery. Police broke up what appeared to be a silent riot at the Mahon Public Library but it later turned out to be a rumble between two factions of […]